When I saw a recipe for “Snobby Joes” in Veganomicon by Isa Chandra Moskowitz and Terry Hope Romero, I rolled my eyes.  I don’t like Sloppy Joes, and I don’t like imitation anything.  But then I read the clever intro about Snobby Joes feeling superior for not eating meat, and when I saw they were based on lentils, they got me.  The best part is that I actually like them far more than any meat version I’ve tried.

But I’m a little  embarrassed to be talking to you about Sloppy Joes.  And I’ll be honest: if I hadn’t just come back from vacation, I probably would have waited to find a more impressive recipe to post.  But I think you are getting the good end of the deal.  This recipe hits the spot and comes together fast for a weeknight meal.

I did change up the spices a little here.  I didn’t mean to, but the first time I tried this I was out of chile powder, and used a mole-inspired spice blend with ancho.  The results were delicious.  The traditional flavor of Sloppy Joes came through, but the cocoa powder added some depth and the spices gave it some intrigue.

vegan Sloppy Joes (a.k.a. Snobby Joes)
adapted from Veganomicon by Isa Chandra Moskowitz and Terry Hope Romero

2 cups dried lentils
2 tablespoons olive oil
1 large yellow onion, diced
2 green peppers, diced
4 cloves garlic, minced
3 tablespoons ancho chile powder
1 tablespoon dark brown sugar
1 1/2 teaspoons cinnamon
1 1/2 teaspoons  cocoa powder
1 teaspoon ground cumin
1 tablespoon dried oregano (preferably Mexican)
2 teaspoons salt
15-16 oz. can tomato sauce
6 oz. can tomato paste
2 tablespoons maple syrup
2 tablespoons prepared mustard
8-12 rolls, to serve

In a medium-large pot, cover the lentils with approximately 8 cups of water.  Bring to a boil, reduce to a simmer and cook until lentils are just soft, about 20 minutes.  Drain, and return to the pot.

In the meantime, heat the oil in a frying pan and add the onion and green pepper.  Cook over medium heat until softened, about 7 minutes.  Add the garlic and cook one minute more.

Add the vegetables to the lentils and stir in the spices, sugar, cocoa powder, tomato sauce and tomato paste.  Cook over low heat for about 10 minutes, until the mixture starts to meld.  Stir in the maple syrup and mustard, cover and let rest off the heat for 10 minutes more.

Serve on toasted rolls.

I take bean dishes for granted. To me, they are the go-to meal-foundations that boneless skinless chicken breast recipes used to be, before I came to my senses. When I don’t know what to cook, I put on a pot of beans, like I used to defrost a chicken breast or two. Beans take a little more planning if you cook them fresh, but there’s no nasty raw meat mess to carefully clean up, and they taste better. Sure, the chicken breast might have a chance if it weren’t stripped of the dignity of skin and bones, but as-is, it’s beans every time for me. Plus the beans cook unattended with plenty of time to figure out what to put with them. And a tip: you don’t have to soak them before cooking. You might end up with a few broken beans, but who cares?*

My bean routine is as follows:
-measure out about 1/2 cup of dried beans per person (main dish portion)
-cover with about 3 times as much water, (less if they have been soaked)
-bring to a boil, reduce to simmer, let cook on low for 2-4 hours
-salt ONLY when they are almost cooked through (salt toughens the skins and prohibits the water from softening the beans during cooking.)
-check every hour, as convenient, to make sure the water is covering the beans, and stir

The creative part is adding aromatics to the beans while they are simmering. This time I added dried New Mexican style chiles, (a good substitute for the sweet Spanish Nora chile), plenty of unpeeled garlic, and a few sprigs of herbs. A couple of onions got caramelized, some eggplants braised until silky smooth in just enough tomato sauce, and some no-knead bread was popped in the oven.  Chickpeas on their own have an amazing pot liquor, but the chiles made for a deeply flavored dish that I couldn’t get enough of.  I just about cried when Romeo offered the leftovers to his dad.

If you are having trouble getting excited about chickpeas or pintos, check out Rancho Gordo’s heirloom beans.  Steve Sando’s enthusiasm is contagious. (And adding “heirloom” to any ingredient makes it sexier, not to mention “Indian woman.”)

*Cannellini (not to be confused with navy) beans are the exception -they fall apart- so soak them first for salads.  Other applications should be fine.

Spanish-style chickpeas and eggplant with caramelized onions

2 cups dried chickpeas
7 cloves garlic, unpeeled
3 sprigs parsley, plus more for garnish
3 New Mexican dried chiles
10 sprigs thyme
2 onions, sliced
2 large eggplants
14 oz. can whole plum tomatoes or 6 fresh plum tomatoes, chopped
olive oil, about 1/3 cup, separated
salt and freshly ground pepper, to taste

Put the beans in a heavy pot and cover with plenty of water (about 6 cups.) Bring to a boil, then reduce to a low simmer. Add garlic, parsley, chiles, and thyme. Cover and let cook for 3-4 hours, but check after two. (The time can vary depending on the age of the beans.)

Caramelize the onions: heat a frying pan over a medium-low burner. Thinly coat the bottom with olive oil and add the onions. Cook slowly until the onions first become very soft, and then pick up a reddish-brown color. Set aside.

Peel (if you like) and chop the eggplant into slightly large bite-size pieces. Cook in a generous amount of oil with a sprinkle of salt. When the edges soften and the flesh is glossy, add the tomatoes and juice. Cover and simmer for 1 hour or until very soft.

When the beans are approaching tender, add salt to taste -don’t be shy. Let cook about 15 minutes more, then remove the garlic, parsley, chiles and thyme stems. Squeeze the garlic out of the skins and scrape the flesh of the chiles, return both back to the pot.
Add the beans to eggplant mixture, check for seasoning and let simmer 15 more minutes. Top with caramelized onions and flecks of fresh parsley leaves.